Being Gay is NOT an EXCUSE
Every now and then - someone will say to me, "You are so different from all the gay people I have ever met." Being the curious fellow I am - I ask them what they mean by that. Almost always the response is something to the effect of.... "You are nice" or "You seem to care about OTHER people." I say this NOT to toot my own horn [beep beep] but to make a point. I'm flattered by what they say but more than that - I'm saddened. [because I understand why some people have a negative impression of gay people]
I once had a conversation with someone who told me that they didn't like black people. I asked them why they felt that way. They told me that a black man [many years ago] cheated them out of something. I then asked them how many black men are we talking about. They said just one. [this is when I brought out my portable soap box!!] I tried to explain to them just how unfair it was to allow that ONE man to represent literally millions of other black men. The person I was talking to had red hair. I asked them how they would feel if I hated and distrusted THEM for no other reason than I was once cheated by a red headed person. No fireworks went off [because they rarely do] but at least I planted a seed of doubt. Maybe they thought about what I said. I hope so.
Once a person steps out of the closet [so to speak] he or she takes on a great responsibility. And this doesn't just apply to sexual orientation. Take being a Christian - for instance. If a person comes out of their 'religous closet' and declares their faith in Jesus - they have an obligation TO that faith AND to Jesus. They are also obligated TO their declaration. Why would I say that? Because now - they are representing God and Jesus. If that Christian is a not-so-nice person - how will other people respond? Usually - what people do is allow that ONE not-so-nice person to represent ALL Christians. And isn't that horribly unfair? Sure it is. But that's what people do. So if you're gay [or a Christian - or a Gay Christian - for that matter] and are telling others that THAT is what you are - then you BETTER be on your best behavior. Very likely - how you behave - how you treat others - will leave an everlasting impression on a great number of people. Do you really want other people to dislike someone else because of how YOU treated THEM? Do you really want people to stay away from God because of something YOU said or did? Do you really want someone to hate gay people because they met YOU?
Being gay is not an excuse. A gay person is just as obligated to be considerate of other people [ALL other people] as anyone else is. And perhaps - in some way - more obligated. [because they would want - I would think - to 'right' the 'wrong' impression that OTHER gay people may have given]
Never expect someone else to accept you just the way YOU are - if you do not return the favour. No one HAS to accept you. No one HAS to be OK with who YOU are. I'm often amazed at how some people - who are NOT NICE - comfort themselves with the belief that the ONLY REASON people don't like them is BECAUSE they are gay. Yeah - well. That could be true - but I can't help but think that it just might have something to do with the fact that you're not all that nice!!
Genuinely caring, compassionate, thoughtful people are hard to hate. So go out of your way to be someone others will like. And when you meet someone who has a negative impression of gay people - become the exception to the rule. Be the guy they LIKE - in SPITE of the fact you're gay!! :o)
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