BULLY PAGE
For many guys - SUNDAY NIGHT is the WORST night of the week
If you have NEVER been bullied - consider yourself LUCKY. Not every guy IS so 'lucky' - however. For many guys - the idea of having to face yet another school or work week is often overwhelming. BUT - bullying doesn't ONLY take place at school or at work. A lot of guys are bullied by members of their own family. Some guys have abusive parents and/or siblings. [brothers and sisters] The tragedy of bullying is that IT is COMPLETELY unnecessary.
Probably THE most difficult 'thing' to come to terms with is the FACT that a bully is a bully BECAUSE of who HE [or she] is.  A person does NOT bully someone because something is 'wrong' with the 'victim' - they bully someone because something is wrong with THEM.  A person who is 'OK' with themselves will NEVER feel the need to elevate themselves by knocking down [Literally and/or emotionally] someone ELSE. The bully is the 'one' with the problem. Unfortunately - people who have problems - often like to 'share' those problems with other people. [To make someone ELSE suffer - too]
A person is made up of [basically] four 'parts'. The PHYSICAL - the part of us that we can SEE when we look into a mirror. The EMOTIONAL and INTELLECTUAL - the part of us that makes us FEEL and THINK and the SPIRITUAL -  the most important 'part' of all. [often called our 'soul'] When our PHYSICAL body is hurt - it CAN [and usually does] heal. When the EMOTIONAL and/or INTELLECTUAL parts of us is wounded [somehow] we can [more often then not] reason our way BACK to being 'OK' again. BUT - when our SPIRITUAL 'part' is attacked [hurt - somehow]  it can often effect us for the rest of our lives. Bullying has an effect on EVERY part of 'us'.  That is WHY so many guys suffer so much because of their 'being bullied' experiences. [And take a long time to heal]
A 'bully' is someone who INTENTIONALLY tries to hurt someone. Everything from an occasional 'name calling' to actual physical abuse can be considered 'bullying'. A person who looks 'down' at some OTHER person [gives them the "I'm disgusted by you' look] is a bully. Calling someone 'names' [Such as 'fag', 'queer', fat ass', 'loser', 'dork', etc.] is a form of ABUSE - and is the most common way for someone to 'bully'. Racist comments are also very common. Words such as 'nigger' or 'chink', are just two examples of the many words words used to bully someone. It's not the words themselves that hurt - it's the INTENT behind the USE of those words. A person doesn't call someone a 'nigger', for instance, UNLESS they are TRYING to hurt the feelings of the person they are calling that 'name'. 
An extreme example of bullying took place in an American high school. [I think it was in Seattle] A guy was dragged into a locker room by 4 guys and 1 girl.  He was stripped naked, thrown to the floor and held down [by the 4 guys] while the girl got on top of him. She grabbed his penis and put it inside of her. After a few minutes - the girl stopped and got back on her feet. Then one of the guys made the victim 'cum' by jacking him off. The other guys THEN jacked off and orgasmed ON the victim. As if THAT wasn't enough - the  4 guys THEN urinated on him. Can you even imagine how devastating that experience would have been for that guy?? [just so you know - a guy CAN get an erection even IF he isn't 'turned on' by what's happening to him. Many guys make the MISTAKE of assuming that because their penis became erect - what happened to them was partly THEIR fault]
That's not an easy question to answer. I was a 'victim' of bullys. Not only was I 'picked on' while in school [by some students AND some teachers] I was ALSO verbally abused by my father and my brothers. I have often asked myself if there WAS anything I could have done to STOP the abuse. Very often we become overwhelmed with what's happening to us. The worst part of all [for ME - at least] was in NOT having a 'safe place' to go to. There was nowhere for me to go and feel 'OK'. I had absolutely NO ONE to TALK to. It was a horrible feeling and a rotten situation to be in. The one 'thing' that would have helped me MORE than anything else - would have been to have someone in my life that I could TRUST. Someone that I could share my TRUE thoughts and feelings with. THAT is THE reason WHY I created my homepage and message boards, etc.  I want to BE that 'someone' to
ANY GUY who NEEDS 'someone'  to talk to. The worst 'thing' any of us can EVER do is believe in the LIE that we are ALONE. You are NOT alone - I PROMISE. Millions of guys know EXACTLY what you are going through and they know how worried, depressed and SCARED you are. Do something nice for yourself. TALK about what you are going through. Very often - when we DO share our TRUE thoughts and feelings [and share with someone what WE went through] the darkness of our situation becomes a little brighter.
Most victims [Not ALL - but MOST] become victims BECAUSE of a low self-esteem. Bully's can 'spot' a potential victim in the same way a dog can 'smell' fear. The best way to STOP being a victim [or to avoid becoming a victim in the first place] is to be 'OK' with who you  are. There is NO need for you to apologize [To ANYONE] for NOT being someone ELSE. [assuming - of course - that you YOURSELF are NOT a bully] As long as you can look into a mirror and see someone who is [at least] TRYING to be considerate AND compassionate of other human beings - including YOURSELF -  then STOP living your life as if you are a  mistake. Hold your head UP and KNOW [in your heart] that you do NOT deserve to be abused. [Because THAT is the TRUTH]

If YOU are being bullied - TALK ABOUT IT. Tell someone what's happening to you and don't STOP telling UNTIL the bullying STOPS.
There is, of course, FAR MORE to being 'bullied' than what I just 'talked' about. It would be impossible for me to give enough examples of HOW someone CAN be bullied in order help someone better understand what it all means. [Especially those who have NEVER been bullied]  MOST people are 'bullied' in very subtle 'ways'.  Sometimes - IF we were to write down on paper WHAT [exactly] someone is DOING to us - it wouldn't seem all that bad. For instance - if the 'only' thing someone is doing is giving us a dirty 'look' every time we walked past them - well - that doesn't SOUND so bad. BUT - it sure CAN effect how we FEEL about ourselves.  HOW someone can bully someone - unfortunately - is limited
ONLY to the bully's imagination.
Being bullied by a PARENT is often a FAR more difficult 'problem' to resolve. Simply feeling better about yourself is NOT always going to 'help'. Not for a second am I trying to suggest that a healthy self-esteem is the answer to ALL of your problems. BUT - it WILL [at least] put you in a better position to see things more clearly. When we live our lives with our head hung low - it's impossible for us to see anything. [Let alone a solution to our problem]  It IS important to remember, however, that a parent does NOT have the 'right' to abuse [bully] his or her child. A parent does not OWN their child.  A child is NOT the property of a parent. A child is a RESPONSIBILITY. A parent has a DUTY to take care of those they bring into this world. [OR adopt into their family - OR whatever] Although I don't claim to have THE 'answer'  [And ALL I am doing NOW is giving you my opinion] I really DO believe that being silent and keeping your feelings to yourself ONLY makes things WORSE. [For YOU] If no one KNOWS what you are going through [Or HAVE gone through] how can ANYONE help you?? [Or sympathize WITH you] AND.. if you DON'T share what you have gone through [Or are GOING through] with anyone - you run the risk of believing that you DESERVED to be treated badly. [And that is a HORRIBLE LIE to believe]
PLEASE take a look at my 'BULLY BOARD message board' and JOIN my                 'BULLIED BOYS' and 'JUST FOR GUYS' Yahoo Groups.
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